Just recently I read that a well-known music artist was told her music career was over. My heart stopped. How dare they! I was angry and then almost immediately, I began to cry. How could another human being predict the life of another?
It brought me back to my time in the hospital when my doctor so callously gave me my lupus diagnosis and said I would be on the kidney transplant list in a few years. The words of that doctor that day had cut into me so severely that I thought I’d never recover. Her predictions were wrong. My kidneys are now quite happy, thank you very much!
It’s an outrage if you ask me. The reason this upsets me so much is because I’ve been there too and it doesn’t have to be this way. I cannot bear to see lupus sufferers carry this big depressing label around and feel doomed for life.
Forever.
Yep, that’s right. That’s the going prediction. “You will never feel good, there will be lots and lots of mornings when you will not be able to get out of bed…” The list goes on and on.
I refused to accept all that negativity. It does not and could not exist in my world. Negativity is not on my radar. I don’t speak of it, marinate in it, nor allow its energy to seep into my thoughts, mind, or body.
What do you do when your doctor tells you your career is over because of your lupus diagnosis?
I wonder how many times a day a woman or man diagnosed with lupus is given false, antiquated predictions and prognosis. Imagine what this does to the body. Feelings of being defeated. Spiraling down a narrow dark tunnel.
Now focus on those very thoughts everyday for years and years. How do you feel? Pretty darn shitty. How could you feel positive, energized, optimistic or anything other than defeated?
Now, let me tell you that this was not how it was when I first was diagnosed. I cursed the day the pain had befallen me. I hated my body for reacting the way that it did. Every step, every deep breath, and every tiny movement was a painful reminder. Trust me, I’ve come along way.
And let me tell you, it’s way better to not let the negativity seep in.
My soul mourns every time anyone is told their life is over. When your deepest, most beautiful dreams are stolen away.
Breaks. My. Heart.
That’s why I’m here.
To tell you from the deepest place of my heart that it doesn’t have to be true.
I’m not saying to be in denial and not take your medications and ignore medical advice. But know that it is possible to have a juicy, fulfilling life created by you. It is OK to dream big.
photo credit: Nina Matthews Photography via photopin cc
I’ve been there, exactly where you are, crying at the sadness of it all. But the good news is that you are the one who ultimately controls the mind chatter that impacts your body every day.
I had slipped into such a deep depression that I was hours from being a successful suicide attempt. But I have come back, despite the long journey of daily pain, inability to walk, hair falling in clumps, and the ravaging effects of prednisone on my body. The strength to continue living regardless of the challenges is in all of us.
Here are a few things I do every single day to push away any detrimental thoughts and bathe in the positive, the beautiful, and the ease of lupus:
1. Recite 12 gratitudes out loud everyday. Gratitude for even the simplest things from your comfy pj’s to the delicious tea you bought, from gentle yoga to your warm bed.
2. Use affirmations: “My kidneys function beautifully.” “ My joint pain subsides with ease.” Pick one that suits you.
3. Seek the company of individuals who encourage you to follow your dreams and desires.
4. Pick one action that you can take to fulfill your next goal in life, no matter if that goal is big or small.
5. Surround yourself with people who are already pursuing their dreams and take notes. It just takes the first step forward.
6. When you are feeling low, put on your favorite music and light some candles.
Do you currently have a gratitude journal or use daily affirmations? Have you created any goals, little or big, for 2013? Let me know, I’d love to hear from you!
Until next time,
